Monday, September 1, 2008

Five Days Down

Yep, 5 days down and 175 to go. School had a very good start, probably the least stressful in 5 years. I am back to 1st grade(no more combination classes for this teacher), at the school I love and have no plans of adopting... should be a piece of cake, right? I am grateful to have a job that provides for us, and allows me more vacation time than most. I am also grateful for an administrator that is "family friendly" and supports and encourages me not only as a teacher, but as a mother. But after a nice long weekend with my girls, I was really not very excited about returning to work this morning. I have never really minded working outside of my home. As a single mom it is just something that must be done. In fact, much of the time I really do like the structure that getting up and going to work brings to my life. This year feels different, I wish I could be home with the girls more. I try to make our evenings meaningful family time, but it is hard to do when you only have 4 hours to work with. I am not sure why this year feels different... maybe it is that this is the last year before my girls enter Kindergarten and it feels like they are growing up too fast. Maybe it is that I have seen such growth and change in Kate over the last week and know that much of that is simply because we had more time together. Maybe I am just sad that my girls get my last few hours of the day rather than my first... and that saying about saving the best for last doesn't always happen. Whatever the reason, my heart feels torn and a little bit sad. Lots of prayer needed here.

On the brighter side, my girls will be starting preschool next week. This will allow them to come to school with me four mornings a week, and they are able to attend the preschool that is housed at my school, what a blessing. I hope that just having with me more in the morning and in the same building will help.


Jill said...

I don't know that we moms ever feel like we have enough time with our kids. Here I am a SAH mom that homeschools, and I still don't feel like it is enough time. That growing up sensation that we don't have enough time to spend with the kids, to teach them all they need to know, to plant truth in their hearts, to do all the fun stuff good moms do, teach them about boys and how to cook...

I think you are a great mom, and I don't know that we ever have enough time. Don't get me wrong I do enjoy a little break here and there from time to time.

I am so glad that this year is off to a great start.

Carol said...

I hear ya friend. I am dreading going back to work and school because I will miss Grace and feel sad about missing out on the little every day things. I will be praying for you. Jill is absolutely right, you are a fabulous Mommy! God knew ahaead of time that you would be a working Mommy and He chose you for Meg and Kate because He knew that you would be the perfect family for them! ;)