Monday, May 26, 2008

Who did you remember today?

Today is Memorial Day, a time to remember. Specifically, it is a day to remember the men and women who have sacrificed all for our freedom. I only have to look at my girls to be reminded that we in the US are blessed with great freedom. In the country of their birth men and women sacrifice greatly to do what we are able to do so freely... worship the Almighty God. I am so very thankful for the men and women who have so bravely fought to establish and to protect this right.

We normally go to the cemetary to visit the graves of three of my grandparents and my dad. While my dad was not a veteran, he is the one that I have thought of most today. Earlier this month marked the 20th anniversary of my Dad's death, pretty significant as I now have been without my dad longer than I had him in my life. I have thought of him often this month. He was far from perfect, but he was my Dad. The last few years were pretty rocky, but he was my Dad. I loved him very much, and I know that he loved me. I think that the thing I miss most about him was that he was an awesome encourager.
I was living in CA when my Dad passed away, and it had been nearly a month since the last time I had talked to him... like I said, things were a bit rocky. I came home for the funeral, but had to return to CA to finish up finals. When I was packing my room to move home I found a letter written to my by my Dad. I did not even remember reading this letter, and only knew it must have come before Christmas. I was able to date the letter only because the P.S. read, "Here are your tickets!" I remember sitting in a half packed room reading this letter and thinking that it had been dropped straight from heaven... the first line read, "Well, I'll bet you never believed you'd get a letter from me. Here it it!" I will not quote the entire letter, but it was filled with word of encouragement. He closed with "Please remember that I do love you- very, very much." I am so thankful that I found that letter, even more thankful that I didn't throw that letter away in my anger.
We didn't make it to the cemetary this year, my mom did and I am sure she put flowers at his grave. Thanks, Mom. We did have a big get together with family and friends, all of my siblings and their children were in attendance. I think that he would have been delighted in the way we spent our day... laughing, playing and just enjoying each other. Time has passed, and the deep pain of grief has subsided... but on days like today I miss my Dad. I love you, Dad.

6 comments:

Carol said...

What a beautiful post Beth. You are wise to remember that even though your Dad was not perfect (and who is, right?) There are positive things about him that will always influence you, no matter how long he has been gone. Thank you for being such an encouragement to me through this post, and through the way you live your life. You are a good friend and very encouraging yourself sista! ;) Love you!

kim said...

Wonderful post, Beth! He could only be proud of his children, their spouses, their children...
Praise be to Him who is Almighty and Sovereign, Merciful and Tenderhearted. Whose ways are often beyond our ability to comprehend, as is His love for His children. But may all be for the good of His kingdom.

Wendi said...

It's good that you are remembering the good times. He will always be with you.I wish I could of met him I'm sure I would of liked him. I know that it has been hard for steve also not having him around, but to know you will meet again in heaven is beautiful and I look forward to meeting him also.Take care

Tricia said...

I know there have been hard times in your life, but I know there have been good ones too. I remember your dad and as a child I remember seeing him smiling a lot. Thanks for sharing your life and memories with us...I am glad God brought our friendship back together over 15 years ago.

Jamie said...

Well said, sister. I too have thought of dad often this month. I know he would have been so proud of you (and me too)! I think it is so important that while we recognize that dad wasn't perfect, he did love us! After all, I sure hope that is what my kids see in me. I'm far from perfect and definitely don't always do the parenting thing right...but I'm crazy in love with my kiddos!

Jill said...

That was beautiful. Not until I saw my dad with his father when I was an adult did I realize my dad was parenting out of what he knew.(Does that make sense?) I know that my parents did the best with what they knew at the time. Had to do over again I am suret they would have changed many things...just like me. Thank you for the grace, mercy and love you showed in this post. Let's hope our kids show us the same.