Welcome 2009!

While 2008 was a great year, it is not one that I am sad to see come to a close. It brought with it great joy, along with tremendous struggle. Most of the year was spent in survival mode... just trying to make it to the next day. Sounds a bit dramatic, but emotionally that was were I was at. Well, I made it through ... and I think that I may have even grown a little from the whole experience. Now I am ready for 2009! I am praying for a year where I live life more thoughtfully and peacefully. I have let my role as single working mom rule my life... not working so well, as I am exhausted, worried, and frustrated most of the time. I am ready to focus more on my role as daughter, daughter of the King. I am ready to turn in exhaustion, worry and frustration for things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It is going to be a good year!

Can you believe that this post has taken me an hour to write? I wrote and wrote and deleted and deleted... then wrote and wrote and deleted and deleted. Hmmmm... that is how I blog. I process lots of thought and then delete or store them in a draft file. Most of my thoughts never make it public... and it is probably better that way.

Playing games

Well, since I am at such a loss for words these days I thought that I would play along.





The Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
* They have to be real places, names, things. nothing made up!
* You can’t use your name for the boy/girl name question.
* Tag at least 5 people to play along

1. What is your name... Beth
2. A four letter word... Burp
3. A boy's name... Brian
4. A girl's name... Beatrice
5. An occupation... Banker
6. A color... Blue
7. Something you wear... Bandana
8. A beverage... Bloody Mary, of course I don't drink these, but it is a drink nonetheless.
9. A food...Burgers
10. Something found in the bathroom...Bubbles
11. A place...Beijing
12. A reason for being late... Broken clock

I am not even going to say Tag... since the only two people who are still checking this sadly inactive blog have already played along.

Can't Load Pictures!!!

I am so frustrated with Blogger... I can't load pictures. Has anyone had this trouble? Any suggestions?

Growing up

Bare with me while I share a few things about my eldest. It has been a big couple of weeks for Meigan.

She is enjoying school very much. I am watching her blossom right before my eyes. One of her teachers even said that she is becoming quite the "social butterfly"...if you know my girl, this is big.

Last week Meigan spoke her first prayer. I really thought that this would never come. I have been asking her for more than two years, twice a day, if she would like to pray. Imagine my surprise last week when she answered yes.

My girl also decided that she wants her own room last week. I have been sitting with the girls while they go to sleep for several month (since Kate came home, actually). I have tried several times to get the girls to go to sleep without me. I just have not had the strength to work through the tears and guilt. I had almost resigned myself to sitting with them forever when Meigan out of the blue gathered her pillow and lovey and headed off to the playroom. There is a twin bed in the playroom and she has been sleeping there ever since. Kate did have a few tearful nights. They were pretty intense, but shortlived. It is wonderful to have a little more time in the evenings to get things done.

Finally, Meigan cracked me up tonight while I was giving her a bath. Her hair had been washed and I was busy rinsing it with warm water when I heard her say, "This is the life." She cracks me up!

This could have been the scene at my house this weekend.

Yes... I had a frog in my back yard and mice in my garage. Yuck! Not much I can do about the frog. They are a problem with the irragation canal so close. The mouse (turned out to be mice) on the other hand are another story. I think that the mice showed up this weekend, as I have seen no traces of them and saw only a few "indications" of their presence on Sunday. It was Sunday morning when I was going out to feed the dogs when I flipped on the light and saw the gray furry hind end of the little rodent scampering away. EEEEK! Well, traps were set (thanks to my stepdad, who so kindly gave up Monday Night Football) and mice were caught.

Unfortunately, the seal at the bottom of my garage door has an opening at one end. As the nights are getting colder I am afraid that more mice will try and find refuge in my garage. My hope is that word has spread among the mouse community that while entry may be easy you may never come out... at least not on your own four feet. Traps will remain set, and the garage door company may be called to replace the seal. I just can't live with mice.

T'was the night before preschool....

UPDATE: The day went great. Meigan was a little hesitant in the beginning. By the end of the preschool day she gave her stamp of approval by saying, "I want to come to school tomorrow." Kate was excited beyond words from the moment she saw her backpack sitting by the door. I had bus duty this morning, so the girls had to stand outside with me as the kids filed off the busses. Kate was so excited when she saw the busses that she turned and waved at me and wanted to load the closest one.


I wish that I could say that not a creature was stirring. But no, Meigan is tossing and turning and telling me how very hard it is to go to sleep when you are so bored.

Well, tomorrow starts a new phase in life, as well as a new routine. Both of my girls will be attending preschool, and so ends the journey to Grandma's each morning. Seems hard to believe, wasn't it just yesterday that I was carrying Meigan around on my hip... oh, wait a minute, that was yesterday. But it does seem like just yesterday that I brought her home. Now she is heading off to school, and I am already missing the "baby" days. Kate has been home only 9 months, and it doesn't seem nearly as strange to be sending her off. She came to be my daughter as an older toddler, ready for school when we first met. So while my heart is not sad about how quickly the years have flown, it is very sad for the years that I missed with her.

God has been good to us. A month ago I had plans in place... girls enrolled in separate preschools and a Friday daycare lined up. Well, at the last minute, and in a matter of a few short days those plans were totally turned upside down. Neither girl will be attending the preschool they were enrolled in last Spring, and our Friday arrangement have changed, as well. I worried so much last Spring, trying to get everything in order. God had other plans, better plans. The girls will now be able to come with me each morning, and go to preschool in the same building where I teach. I can't even begin to tell you what a blessing this is. Just to have them in the same building with me make my heart happy. This means they come with me to work, and on some days I might even get to see them after their preschool session ends. My mom will pick them up each day, and have them in the afternoons. On Fridays, they will go to a neighborhood daycare that is unbelievable. It will be nice for my mom to have a day to help my grandma and just catch up around her house. I know that daycare is not ideal, but what this woman is doing is amazing. The girls will be well fed, cared for, played with, and taught about God's word.

Well, we are moving on... whether I am ready or not. Tomorrow the first day of preschool, and before I know it the first day of high school. So, for now I will let that little ache in my heart serve as a reminder to make the most of each day that I have with my sweet little ones.

P.S. Stay tuned... cute first day of school pictures to come soon.

Five Days Down

Yep, 5 days down and 175 to go. School had a very good start, probably the least stressful in 5 years. I am back to 1st grade(no more combination classes for this teacher), at the school I love and have no plans of adopting... should be a piece of cake, right? I am grateful to have a job that provides for us, and allows me more vacation time than most. I am also grateful for an administrator that is "family friendly" and supports and encourages me not only as a teacher, but as a mother. But after a nice long weekend with my girls, I was really not very excited about returning to work this morning. I have never really minded working outside of my home. As a single mom it is just something that must be done. In fact, much of the time I really do like the structure that getting up and going to work brings to my life. This year feels different, I wish I could be home with the girls more. I try to make our evenings meaningful family time, but it is hard to do when you only have 4 hours to work with. I am not sure why this year feels different... maybe it is that this is the last year before my girls enter Kindergarten and it feels like they are growing up too fast. Maybe it is that I have seen such growth and change in Kate over the last week and know that much of that is simply because we had more time together. Maybe I am just sad that my girls get my last few hours of the day rather than my first... and that saying about saving the best for last doesn't always happen. Whatever the reason, my heart feels torn and a little bit sad. Lots of prayer needed here.

On the brighter side, my girls will be starting preschool next week. This will allow them to come to school with me four mornings a week, and they are able to attend the preschool that is housed at my school, what a blessing. I hope that just having with me more in the morning and in the same building will help.